I disagree 100%. For me, no attraction is there if physical attraction isn’t there. Personality isn’t everything to me. An ugly face destroys a good personality. If a woman isn’t physically appealing to me, I have no interest in dating her under any circumstances. Looks aren’t everything. However, without any exceptions, looks matter.
Anybody that thinks to me personality is everything and looks mean nothing is an absolute moron without exception.
u I think when people make that comment, what they actually mean is that dating SOLELY because of physical appearance is usually a mistake.
It's all about looks. 100%.
Anyone who tells you differently is lying to themselves because they can't get people they find attractive
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Some people date for looks but it’s not the only reason to date somebody. I’ve liked guys that were so obviously ugly just because I liked their mind or hearts.
Do you ever wonder why some hot people date plain looking? Vice versa? It’s not always about the money or status. It’s because they saw something in that person that the naked eye can’t see.
I think what people mean when they say that is you should not date ONLY for looks. If a person is attractive but has no other qualities: ambition, personality, financial and emotional stability, moral compatibility, and so on…what’s the point.
Having said that, my friends tease me as I’m a man with a “very narrow bandwidth”. in my dating years I dated a very specific type, physically speaking. If a girl didn’t meet the criteria I felt was attractive then I just wasn’t interested. Yet, despite physical appearances if she wasn’t a quality person - I saw no potential for a relationship and the whole matter was short lived or just a temporary passing.
Put another way, I think the substance of a person matters most, but physical appearance matters too and is often a part of whether the time is even spent to get to know the inner person.
Well good looks will fade. But a shitty personality won’t.
However you have to feel physically attracted to someone at least on some level. If your not then your sex life will be a struggle or worse non existent. You will be more tempted to cheat.
So it’s a tough balance. It’s also hard to determine if someone else is “in your league” looks wise. People have different tastes. I’ve had women surprise me in both directions.
Some thought I wasn’t attractive when I for sure thought they would and others thought I was cute despite me thinking I had no chance with them. There is some eye of the beholder that no one can pin down easily.
I agree with you. Not that it's all about looks but let's take a scenario here:
You could date a physically beautiful woman with a great personality, or a physically unappealing woman with a great personality. I don't have to create a poll to know the popular answer on this one.
People are saying don't be shallow, look past looks and see people for who they are based on their actions and character. I think that is wise advice, but I also still think a person with a great personality and no physical appeal is someone you should be having as a good friend, not considering them for a lover.
I don't think considering looks is wrong. It's treating people who don't meet that standard with dignity is.
for example, if a girl who doesn't meet your standard engages and flirts with you, and you tell her "Sorry, I'm just not interested" etc, that's not being a jerk. But the guys that will actively demean that girl, jeer them for even approaching? That's when it becomes a malicious and dehumanizing attitude. As long as you don't treat attractiveness as a prerequisite for basic kindness and respect, you're fine.
It’s wrong if that’s the only thing you are dating someone for basically , Yes attraction is important , but what makes someone more attractive is their personality, I see beautiful girls’ all over the place that look gorgeous on the outside, but if she has a shitty personality and thinks her shit don’t stink then me personally will want nothing to do with her , , I am not going to waste my time with a girl that doesn’t have a good heart that doesn’t have good moral values, so it takes more than just looks for me to be fully interested in someone , Chemistry and connection is where it’s at , and if her and I have a lot in common. I’m not just going to go after a girl just because she looks good on the outside , her beauty might catch my attention , but it takes more that that for me to even consider wasting my time with her
The thing is, looks do matter. But it's a very subjective thing. What some people find attractive, others might find repulsive. So it's a very personalised preference of what one finds attractive.
So while looks is something that matters, people tend to have a skewed idea. You don't need to be an Instagram level bodybuilder guy or influencer model girl levels of good looking.
And when it comes to personality. Looks will do the initial part but keeping a person and staying in a relationship is all about the personality and how you treat the person.
i dont think anyone genuinly thinks looks aren't super important for dating. i think its just a pc platitude people say so people dont call them assholes or shallow
i think most people just say that even if they dont mean it, but some people can mean it but i dont think when they say they dont care about looks they dont mean someone that looks bad. like they can date a kinda cute girl or an average looking oen, or a kinda bigger one, like their girlfriend doesn't need to be super hot. so that's why they're being like i dont care that much about looks. can also mean i want a super hot person ideally but i'll pick the cute but less cute person if they have a good personality over someone hotter with a shitter one
So like dating for looks is fine essentially the reason say it's wrong is because if u want to "grow old" with someone eventually aging makes looks deteriorate for both you and your partner so if you solely base your relationship off looks then you end up both miserable. One If you don't care about committing like that date who you want, it's why people get sugar babies. But the reason it's "wrong" is because if you date someone and they want a long term commitment, and as soon as their looks change with age you know you'd leave, it's kinda messed up to have wasted their time when they could have found someone who wants more than that.
It’s no one’s business what you prefer tbh. It’s yours alone. I personally find looks as a bonus. But thinking of the future I can understand that won’t last. It’s your choice though 100%. No one should try to convince you otherwise. You may change your mind in the future but that’s what you believe rn. And Respect to you for being honest. I personally don’t care about looks. And not cuz I’m ugly. Lol. It’s cuz I have different values.
Because if you gain more dating experience over the years, you will realize finding the right person to marry has mostly to do with personality and character. Of course everyone wants to marry someone super hot, but your right one may not necessarily be super hot.
It’s not wrong.
But I just “rejected” my date who is handsome, 6’4 tall, amazing physique, athletic and a very nice looking man, but not the one who can be a right person for me.
I was the one always prioritizing looks, because I was insecure about my looks and overcompensated with super attractive partners. But I am not ashamed to admit, I seem to have been wrong as life showed me.
Looks do mean something lol. Appearance is what gets you interested in someone. You are not gonna go talk to the unattractive girl at the bar, your gonna approach the girl that is YOUR type. It’s common sense
you are right... basic requirement is that yoy gotta be attracted to the person. but attraction is subjective. yoy like someone and then other people may find that someone unattractive or someone like you but other people find yoy unattractive. you know what i mean.
i think it’s more like…
looks are subjective. something different appeals to everyone, and of course being physically attracted to someone is part of it. only having physical attraction can also be okay if it’s understood both ways and is purely a physical relationship. but for romance, personality and the entire person should be taken into account and factor in, or else it’s being gross and using someone.
The problem with going after looks is that everyone starts to wrinkle and sag given time. If you're just wanting arm candy, that's your choice. If you're wanting someone to grow old with, then personality and chemistry between two people are the prime factors that makes the relationship last.
No one chooses who they are atracted to. Some are atracted to popularity, some for wealth, some for personality, some for looks, some for whatever. Like I said, atraction is not a choice, unlike what drinks you order on a date.
Those who are only atracted to looks, are they supposed to have their dating rights taken away from them because those who are not atracted only to the looks dont accept?
Il take A girl that is a 6/10. Looks wise with a great personality if we click
rather than a 9/10. On looks. That I can’t even have a normal conversation with,
looks matter but it’s not everything, initial attraction pulls me in, The bond of who they are. And who we are together makes me stay. if that makes sense,
I have to like the person and who they are in the end
Men are visual and looks are a prerequisite; if she doesn't pass the boner test then there is no point in getting to know her. Her personality is what keeps a man around AFTER he smashes, not before. She can have a heart of gold but if she is 300 lbs it doesn't matter.
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