After how many dates should you ask a girl to be in a relationship with you?

[ventustalks]

what do you think is the ideal time to ask?

[jewel]

In my personal opinion, there is no fixed number of dates that universally determines when you should ask someone to be in a relationship with you. The timing for transitioning from dating to a committed relationship varies greatly and depends on several factors:

Open and honest communication is key. It's important to discuss your intentions and expectations with the person you're dating. Some people may be ready for a committed relationship after a few dates, while others may need more time.

The quality and depth of the connection you share with your date are crucial. It's not just about the quantity of dates but how well you know each other, your compatibility, and the level of emotional intimacy you've developed.

Both you and your date should feel comfortable and ready for a committed relationship. Rushing into something before both parties are prepared can lead to complications later on. It's also essential that both you and your date are on the same page. When you both feel that the relationship has reached a point where you want to be exclusive and committed, it's a good time to discuss taking that step.

Everyone's timeline is different. Some people prefer to take things slow, while others are more eager to define the relationship quickly. It's essential to respect each other's pace and preferences.

Ultimately, the decision to ask someone to be in a relationship should be based on mutual feelings, compatibility, and a shared desire for commitment. There's no fixed formula, so it's important to communicate openly, be attuned to each other's emotions, and make the decision together when it feels right for both of you.

[Ozanne]

You'll know when you feel that the two of you are becoming exclusive. There are things said and things done to make the both of you feel like you want nothing more than to be with them. It hits at different points for different couples. But that feeling seems pretty evident when it happens, that suddenly you have the comfortable feeling to just say, "I'm not looking anymore," or "We're exclusive now, right?" And if the other person agrees, then there's your answer. You can't really put a time/date on it as if we have all gone through it and can answer one specific day into the dating phase when it happens. One time it was within days with a man I met, yet another man, it took months. It just has to be when it feels right for you both.

Technically, you've entered a relationship the moment you been sharing your company together. It might not be a "relationship" in the way we typically think it means, but a relationship, nonetheless.

There is something so sweet about that first time when someone acknowledges you as their girl/boyfriend, like you don't see it coming and then when it's actually said, that's it--you've now entered the next level of your relationship. :)

[Cynicaldreamer]

You can't go by a date counter. That's like guys that assume you have to sleep with them by the third date, or you're not interested in them 🙄

The correct answer is, "When it feels right." That's could be 2, 3, 10 dates...
Or a timeframe, which to me seems more ideal and realistic. After some dates, and talking regularly, then you should have an idea of if you want to date someone or not.

[OlderAndWiser]

I don't think there is a OSFA answer for this. As @Cynicaldreamer aptly observed, this would be like a guy expecting you to have sex on the third date.

First, the answer should change as you get older. Experience with dating and prior relationships means you should be more aware of what you want in a relationship and you should be able to make that decision sooner. At my age (ancient,) I knew within four or five dates that my now fiancée would be a good fit for me. When I was younger, I rushed into some relationships but really didn't know until we had been dating for several months.

Second, some younger people are more aware of their needs and desires than others, and some dating partners do a better job of revealing their true selves very quickly, instead of maintaining a well-managed image of who they are.

Bottom line, as long as you are thinking about the other people you are missing out on by spending all your time with your current partner, you're not ready for a relationship. When you are ready to spend all your time with one person - and it's not an act just so you can get laid - then you are ready.

[Miristheiss]

You shouldn't. You should be fun, spontaneous, carefree, charming but also a bit mysterious and aloof and to not give a woman too much of a sense of certainty. Don't give a woman the sense that he's not going anywhere. He's 100% hers and committed and she can now just relax and start pulling crap and misbehaving because she's "got him" and he's not going to leave.

The man's job is to ask her on dates and show her a good time and share his time and attention on her. Not too much but enough to keep her wanting more.

The woman should be the one bringing it up to him. Where are we going? What are we? Where is this going? I don't want to date anyone else I just want to date you.

Then the guy can tell her what his boundaries are and lay out that I only commit to a partner who will respect boundaries x, y, z. If you can respect that then I would love to become exclusive with you.

[AviatorTom]

It shouldn't be based on the number of dates. It should be immediately after you do something intimately physical together... kissing, making out, or having sex. Until then, you're just dating. After then, you should be in a relationship.

[jennifer_bloom]

I usually flirt with a guy at least 2-4 months before the first date, so I don’t mind becoming boy friend and girlfriend within 1-3 dates.

[Summeroflove]

That depends. It depends on how well things are going and the speed it’s going.

[Leapfrog00]

For me, the magic number is three. The first date to get to know her, the second date to show her how much I enjoy her company, and the third one usually when we both realize we're compatible because by then we know each others interests. People who dates strictly on looks are stupid! I'd rather date someone I have at least an ounce of something in common with, rather than somebody just for the way they look, which that's usually just sex in the end.

If a girl wants to kiss on the first date, I'm fine with that. Then I get to see how good of a kisser she is. There's nothing wrong with sex on the first day either, because you get to see another side of the person, though I would never rush a girl into sex. Now if only I could find a girl who is into watching sunsets, looking at the stars, poetry, and a little bit of a freak in bed like me. I'll probably never find a girl like that though.

[YesterdaysChild]

@Leapfrog00 After only 3 dates I find it hard someone can know anyone sufficiently for any kind of relationship. They are usually on their best behavior at first and you may not find out until later what a mistake you have made. Ever think that this may be the reason for many breakups? Rushing things and not really knowing what you might be getting into?

[Leapfrog00]

Eh, probably. I'm good at reading people though. It usually takes six months before I get to know what people are really like because people are fake when you first meet them anyway. I always get the crazy ones who cheat anyway!

[ShadezMcgee]

Usually if things go well, about 5-8 dates seem to be when the question comes in. Thinking like 1 date a week, but at the end of the day in my experience as a man, the quickest way to kill a potential relationship was to ask the woman in question if she wanted to be in a relationship.

Women for some reason get put off or caught off by that question and it suddenly falls apart. Turns out they like being the ones to ask the question "what are we?" Not the other way around.

[HiveBee]

I hope that it starts organically. So many times me and a girl were shy but then something broke the ice and the first thing we did before even talking to eachofher was kissing.

That is the ideal natural thing I wish for then you don't have to ask if you're boyfriend girlfriend tho the girl will ask at some point and then all I have to do is say yes.

[strawberrybaby3]

I would say at least 5. But it depends how long these dates are, what you guys are doing and how and what you guys talk about when you’re not together in person. Personally I’d like to make sure I know the guy well and feel 100% comfortable with him before accepting to be in a relationship with him.

[Guido]

My version of this is a lot different then what seems to be happening in today's world.

If I took a girl on a date and things went well and I wanted to take her out again then I did not date anyone else and expected the same from her I'd she wanted to go out with me. It continued until one of us no longer wanted to date the other.

Today people talk online for months before meeting. There was no online apps when I was dating. You met someone in person, talked and asked them out. They either we said yes or no and went from there. It was the first date that you really talked and got to know each other to find out if you wanted to see more if that person. It was all face to face and no hidden agendas that you find online. Ie fake profiles and people pretending to be someone they are not. I think life was much simpler then and people were more honest with each other.

I am quite happy to be old fashioned when it came to dating.

[HighValue]

If you need to "ask" to be in a relationship after repeatedly dating someone, they must have bad morals and be promiscuous so it is best to just leave them.

Asking to be in a relationship with someone you are dating only applies to disloyal people.

[Anonymous]

Whenever it feels right. I'm thinking five good dates, maybe ask what they want out of it?
Personally I don't ask people out at all, and most of my relationships were initiated by women. It's rare, of course.
But I guess the real answer is "it just depends." If you don't know if you like someone after five dates, haven't felt that spark yet, maybe you never will.

[DizzyDesii]

its only ever taken one date before the guy and i would decide to be official or not. I dont need multiple dates to know if someone is for me because i likely got to know them for a month or months prior to the first date

[BoopBoopBeep]

Depends on the dates. I've had first dates cross state lines and I've had third dates require a passport. That's very different than going to a movie then parting after a 30min talk in the parking lot or over coffee afterwards.

[OddBeMe]

Impossible to tally an average. It’s usually based on how long you’ve know the guy or gal. Sometimes it’s friends for years, who then decide to date and realize it was really love. So third date they’re engaged.

Or you just met him on the first date or so, who knows…

[DubiousIntentions]

At least a couple of months. Anytime you do things in haste you are liable to screw up your life. So slow down and give it time. Rome wasn't built in a day.

[BLP11520]

Good answer

[EricSummer]

After about four dates. It should be when they are already kissing but before having the first sex. It should sometime in between these milestones.

[JosyJosy]

It took us several months. We didn't rush at all. Because of that I knew exactly who I was going to ask out. Yep, I'm the one who made that step. And he wholeheartedly said yes, because he also knew who I was. We're still going strong.

[scooogy]

Who would even turn you down? 🤨

[JosyJosy]

@scooogy Plenty who don't like how I think or do things.

[slatyb]

If she is dating you, she is in a relationship with you. The question is "Are you seeing anyone else?" or "would you like to get a place together?"

[Kaneki05]

People still date? I've only ever got with someone after been friends for a while and it's usually just when she admits she likes me more.

[boobliker]

I never have they just moved in with me then when they had enough of me moved out I do never remember asking anything like that!

[whirled_up_girl]

I would think 5 or 6 or after two weeks for it to be official.