I believe it is unreasonable on his part. However I CAN see the other side. It’s possible you’ve given him a reason not to trust that these are just friends or it’s possible he was hurt in a previous relationship when it turned out this friend wasn’t just a friend.
If it’s the second one though then that’s pretty shitty on his part and I would suggest you talk to him about it and make him understand you’re not the same people.
I do not think it is unreasonable for him to say, “I don’t really trust him and I’d really prefer you weren’t friends with Larry”, I think that’s more than fair and you should at least take his feelings into consideration. For him to say no male friends, that’s a bit too far for me. You’re less wife more child then. No boyfriend of mine will ever again tell me who I can or cannot be friends with, if he does he will find out real fast how badly he overstepped.
Again, sharing feelings and making requests is one thing but to make demands, no. You’re a adult and you make your own choices. That’s way too far in my opinion
If he doesn't have girl friends then it's not unreasonable. Maybe he's the type of guy that, once he find the girl he wants to be with, he doesn't want to make anymore friendships from the opposite sex, just to avoid the possibility of catching feelings for someone.
But if he does have friends of the opposite sex and still wants you not to do the same, then yes, he's being not only unreasonable but controlling as well
Also if he agreed to marry u knowing you have male friends that's also unreasonable.
It's not the way I roll. I never thought it wise to be controlling that way, because even if you can forbid some girl from having guy friends (or vice versa with a boyfriend), what are you supposed to do when you're not there? Lock them up in the basement?
Loyalty is something to inspire as I see it. I'd rather try to inspire loyalty towards me rather than try to deprive my partner of all possible temptations that would challenge their loyalty. Otherwise I feel like I'm being a tyrannical dictator, and I'd rather be a benevolent leader.
u It doesn't matter whether he is being unreasonable. If that is how he feels, you should be trying to accommodate him, even if others think that it is unreasonable, because. . . you probably want him to accommodate in some ways that others think are unnecessary or unreasonable. That is what you do in a relationship; you try to accept each other as you are. What you want to do is insist that he change for your convenience and you can try that, but it probably won't work.
Why was this issue not resolved before you got married?
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I don’t see why you’d need a male friend. I only talk and want to spend time with a guy if I like him or want something with him. I don’t need male friends because ultimately I want my partner to be that male input and presence in my life, not some other guy. That being said, I don’t think one should shy away from small talk or conversations with a guy, I can have acquaintances but I’m never gonna have a male friend unless I’m trying to seek something with him. So I find it reasonable, unless he’s jealous and just doesn’t want you even saying hi to a guy, that’s just crazy!
He has a good point.
If you have a meaningful, open and endless dialogue with your husband, what could you possibly gain from male companions? Nothing, I think. Of course, the same goes for him. He shouldn't have any female friends if that's truly his stance on the matter. Some questions need to be answered to know what's up, exactly. Has he been cheated on by a woman with lots of "male friends"? Have you ever cheated, on him or anyone else?
Obviously he's being unreasonable if he has lady friends but doesn't like you having guy pals. If he's walking the walk and not just talking the talk, that's not really unreasonable. It's also not unreasonable for him to attempt to protect himself from more and further heartbreak. Based only on what you've offered, his behavior is widely considered "controlling," and worth further examination for dysfunction. But any examination that doesn't extend to cause and effect would be grossly incomplete and almost entirely ineffective.
I usually hear this the other way around. Most girls I know don't want their husband or boyfriends to have female friends. As a guy I would like to think that friends with the other sex can be just friends. Though I understand that it is difficult for some people to keep it as just friends. I guess is the same just coming from the male perspective.
Unfortunately I do not know what the right answer is to this. Though from experience, it may not matter--as your friends marry and start their own families, those friends will become more and more distant.
I think it's unreasonable. One of my best friends is a guy and I love him to death. Except he is like a brother to me, I could never love him like I do my boyfriend. I also found in highschool that I preferred hanging out with guys cause i found them more entertaining.
I have also found one of his good friends to be a good friend of mine. This guy is like part of my family (knew him when i was a kid, didn't see him for years until two weekends ago) and I can homestly say i can talk to him about anything.
You should be allowed to have male friends so long as you are not messing with them and they are not trying to make a move on you. I would only understand if your male friend was constantly trying to get in your pants
I have never had friends, friends from the opposite sex. We can talk yes but I never had a male friend that is just mine after i grew up. And I am only 21. I am in a comitted relationship. All the grown Ups I know lol, in their 40s and with a family don’t have any male friends either, or friends of the opposite sex that is only theirs and not a mutual friend or just an person you know little. I think it is normal
To not keep close friends that you often text and meet up woth alone when in a relationship if they are from the other sex. I think though it is unreasonable of him to demand it of you, that is not a good sign and he should not try to control you but he should trust you. If he just said it makes him feel little insecure but he trusts you that would be much better because any feeling is ok, so as long as he can expeess them in a good way and not be controlling.
Are you hanging out with your male friends or are they like co workers/ friends you may see out in town and will talk to?
I have male friends but I never hang out with them. Most are former co workers and we stop and talk when we see each other out and about. Most are married with kids and I know their wives/ girlfriends.
It´s totally unreasonable. His message to you is he doesn´t trust you. You should not put up with it. If you do he may gradually decrease your freedom until he doesn´t accept you going anywhere or meeting anyone without him. He is trying to control you and doesn´t trust you.
Not at all. You have no reason to have any male friends. You shouldn't be with any male "friends" without him being there. Same with men and women "friends". Because they are not "Friends" . They are only friendly. Every one of them, if straight, has a fantasy that includes you in their mind somewhere.
Sounds like he is the one with trust issues. It is unreasonable, maybe communicate to him why its un reasonable. Funny thing is women can be attracted to you too... and what about men who prefer men. His argument isn't sound when he says they have "ulterior motives" its not proven until a male friend openly says their interested in you.
i think he may not see the point because he may only see women as potential romantic partners rather than platonic friends. i think it is unreasonable to think, especially in 2018, that boys can only be friends with boys and girls can only be friends with girls
Sounds like a good marriage boundary.
No need for you to be texting or hanging out alone and spending lots of time with other men.
Be single if you need attention and validation from other guys.
Otherwise, worry about having a strong marriage and honoring your husband, marriage and taking care of your responsibilities.
You sounds like you want to get the best of both worlds and to have a marriage but then act single some of the time too.
Yes. Does he have female friends? Does he have guy friends? He's being way too controlling. You can talk to you guy friends about things going on in you relationship with your SO. I had a girl friend like that once. She talked to me about her boyfriend. And I was able to give her a male's perspective. She appreciated it.
... No.
And tell him to read this:
People-- Your Personal Insecurities Are Not Someone Else's Problem or Fault ↗
If you haven't committed adultery and you don't have a wandering eye, I don't see why you can't have male friends. While some men may have ulterior motives (which wouldn't make them good friends to begin with), not all men do. I'd suggest you two sit down with either a pastor or a marriage counselor. He apparently doesn't trust your commitment to the marriage for some reason.
Not at all. Very reasonable actually, unless he has GFs of his own of course. If you don't like that, either leave him or he'll leave you. It's more so a compatibility issue than an insecurity issue. I doubt you wouldn't mind if you were in his place watching him hang out with his GFs, let alone attractive GFs lol. Not to mention if you didn't have any BFs of your own.
Thats pretty ridiculous. Not every male who talks to and is friends with a woman has alterior motives. Plus its nice to get away from one scene of all females every once in a while it can get tiring sometimes
yes he is being unreasonable, you had male friends before he came on the scene?
then how would he like it if you said he wasn't allowed friends?
same difference... he needs to grow up and start acting reasonably
Opposite sex friends are awesome until they’re not friends. Or one or both have feelings. When that happens things get weird. And painful. Been there. It rocked my marriage and changed my perspective on male-female friendships
Yes his being unreasonable. There is nothing wrong in having friends with both genders. If that's the case he shouldn't have male friends either because they might be into you. See that sounds ridiculous. It's called being equal 50 and 50.
Yes, I think he is being unreasonable and overly controlling. It shows that he doesn't trust you to be able to tell if your male friends are trying to get in your pants or not.
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