Who is more shallow, men or women?

[Anonymous]

Men

Women

They are equally shallow

[Goldie757]

Men and women are both equally shallow. But honestly, it really isn't shallow in the first place. Both react the same way, but it is so often referred to in negative ways.

People cannot help how they naturally feel/react to something. Women are constantly vilifying men who won't go out with overweight women. But a man cannot help the fact that he does not find an overweight woman to be attractive. Some do, don't get me wrong. What I am saying is that whatever a person is turned off by, they cannot help that fact.

Although I will admit that a slight percentage less women turn down men because of looks. But that percentage is more than compensated due to the fact that they will turn down a man who has no job, no car, and/or lives at home with his parents. Men, the majority of them, will not turn down a woman for these reasons. These are just as exterior as looks, but women often advocate that them turning down a man based on these reasons is okay because they claim that a man lacking these things indicates a personality trait that they do not find attractive. Well, the same argument can be made for women who cannot control their eating. But again, women are not wrong for not wanting to date such a man. They cannot help that they are turned off by a man lacking these things. Neither is a man for rejecting a woman due to looks. But women who are under the mistaken impression that men are more shallow, need to recognise that if it can be referred to as shallow, then women are just as much so.

[kaylaS91]

Shallow- Judging a person based strictly on looks, not factoring in their personality whatsoever.
It's difficult to say as both sexes are shallow, in very different ways.

Sure, women may be more easily wooed by material things. Largely owing to societal norms such as men paying for meals, being the ones to buy their girl some fancy Valentine's/birthday gifts, etc.. Women also will prefer a better looking guy than a not so attractive one, which would seem like a logical conclusion. Not shallow, though. You could say that women 'don'f factor in a man's personalty and only care about his appearance/income' but ni doing that, you're just upholding a classic female stereotype.
Do you mean to tell me that I didn't consider my boyfriend's personality as crucial, ir not more important than anything else before we got together?

Men are superficial as well. Perhaps not so much when it comes to materialistic things but I'm sure we've all heard the average male's conversation with friends, and how a large portion of them will involve commenting on how a girl is a 'dime', 'nice tits', a 'butterface', etc.. All of which are comments involving their judgement and value they place on a woman's appearance.
Not once have I heard a guy saying 'yeah, she's okay. A bit chubby and tits are kinda saggy but... we get along so well. She's a great girl so maybe I'll give things a try.

[mistixs]

I was just reading something that I figure is relevant.

This is an analysis of OkCupid messages received by men and women of varying degrees of attractiveness.
Granted, the 2 most attractive women got SO many more messages than any of the other women.
However, all but the least attractive woman received more messages than the MOST attractive man.

jonmillward.com/.../results-after-4-months.png

jonmillward.com/.../

Granted, this is when it comes to APPROACHING someone. It seems that while men are much more likely to approach beautiful women than women who are less beautiful, but still more likely to approach less beautiful women than women are likely to approach men at all. It takes a VERY attractive man for women to approach at all.

So it seems that men are simultaneously *more* shallow and *less* shallow.

[Anonymous]

This question was asked before:

Men requirements for a girl to be in relationship with him:
1. Be loyal
2. Be kind and show love towards him
3. Don't be a bitch or crazy
4. Be attractive (to him at least)
5. Don't be fat (Just requires self control).
6. Don't be clingy
7. Don't be controlling

Women's requirement for a man to be in relationship with her:
1. Make more money than her.
2. Be popular or of high social status.
3. If 1) or 2) are lacking then you must be better looking (nice face~Genetic) than her
4. Must have nice car, house, and any other material possesion you can fathom to show your wealth
5. Must dress nice and have nice clothes.
6. Must be certain height and race (genetic).

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1819614-men-or-women-whose-more-shallow

[Heera]

Dear god... pleeaseee study a little psychology before stating "facts" like this.
Also, the things you said girls are into are just a 14 yo girl's unrealistic expectations while being the biggest one direction fan.
Men are subconciously looking for healthy women that are able to carry their children (this translates to finding good looking women more attractive because they percieve them as healthier)
Women are subconciously looking for men that are able to take care of the family (this translates to being attracted to more assertive/ambitious or wealthy men)
Now media has a great impact on both genders trying to affect people's perception of good looking people.

[Opinion Owner]

@Heera I don't need to study psychology. I look at women and men's actions rather than reading a book telling me what they want.

[Opinion Owner]

@Heera And honey this extends well beyond 14 yr old girls. Stop kidding yourself.

[Jessicocoa]

I think I'm a man lol

[Heera]

You can't understand people without understanding what lead them to those actions. Also, everyone has different life experience which lead to different love perceptions and preferences.
Also, I'm not kidding myself thinking about the women you described as 14 yo girls or maybe just immature. The only one kidding himself is you by thinking you understand something that you don't. I suggest you to be more understanding of people and a little more open minded

[Opinion Owner]

@Heera "You can't understand people without understanding what lead them to those actions. Also, everyone has different life experience which lead to different love perceptions and preferences."

Fine yeah you can't understand people without knowing those actions but again your reasoning that women are attracted to men who are ambitious and assertive is a cop out. Women are attracted to men who are wealthy period and they do not care if the money fell into the man's lap via lotto, he was born into rich family or he did some shady shit like rob a bank to get it.

media4.s-nbcnews.com/.../...vlrg-930a.grid-4x2.jpg

static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ww_4307.png

If women were attracted to ambitious men you would fine more women not trying to run off and date men who are already established and making money and stick with the men in their age group who are busting their ass currently to be CEO/10K a day but they aren't.

[Opinion Owner]

Women want the prize but many of y'all do not want to stick around during the tough times while a man is getting to the goal and in addition you guys don't even understand what it would be like being in a relationship with an ambitious man. You think you do but you don't. If you are in a relationship with a man who is driven expect less quality time together, his goals will be priority number one and you'll be looked at as supporting frame. Not many women like being played second fiddle unless they are gold diggers who are only interested in the man's money.

And no I'm not kidding myself. Question on gag just popped up recently asking about height. Women past 14+ all said they want a man taller than them. one girl even said in her area men were 6'0 and she wanted a guy really tall like 6'4 (she lives in america where only 15% of men are over 6'2).

Maybe instead of reading a psychology book you actually go out and see what are the guys women are being attracted towards and look at co

[Opinion Owner]

And look at male/female couples and relationships.

[Heera]

I didn't read a psychology book, I was studying psychology for a few years and it helped me a lot in real life. And everything you say makes sense but you fail to see the whole picture.
Firstly, your love preferences are set into your subconcious mind mostly. Subconcious mind is the place you're not fully aware of. For exemple you might get more turned on by blondes without realizing why and your subconcious mind might be associating blondes with nururing people because your mother might have been a blonde and you had a really good relationship with her. (this is just an exemple and I hope it helps you to understand how subconcious mind works)
Women are more attracted to ambitious/wealthy or assertive men because in their subconcious mind that associates with being able to take care of a family. Of course there are lots of gold diggers but now I am talking about women in general whom are not looking for money but for protection instead.

[Heera]

They are also attracted by tall men because that also means protection.
But again, there are exceptions depending on everyone's "love map". There are many women who prefer to be dominant in a relationship so as they're not looking for protection=>they don't mind shorter men

[Opinion Owner]

@Heera

Again books don't always translate to practical knowledge in real life, and in cases of people's interaction it's best to look at real world. Another thing you may think you have understanding because that is your bias perception and own view of yourself while another person can come to the conclusion you are fucking clueless.

Preference are heavily based on media influence. This is why being white tends to make you very desirable not only to white people but non-whites as well. In fact you can be below average in looks and be considered very attractive to say an Indian person because you have white skin.

https://youtu.be/tkpUyB2xgTM

The media that has the most influence is Hollywood which tends to promote Caucasian beauty as the ideal beauty standard although they are making more room for other minorities. We see the effect of white privileged even in online dating when it will be hard press to come across a profile saying "no white guys/girls".

[Opinion Owner]

@Heera Yet you would often see many people say "no black guys/girls". It has been shown also that people's preference change based on location. A person living in north america may fine white people as their top choice but move over into another region like central america where Latin beauty is promoted as the ideal beauty and fine themselves gradual over time to like Latins.

Women aren't attractive to ambitious men. They are attracted to wealth and they do not care how men get it. If women were attracted to ambitious men you'd fine more women wanting to be with men in their age group and who are at a similar point in life but have a desire to move up in the world. History shows this is not the case and women tend to date men who are older than them, make more money and who are ahead in already established careers.

It's all about the money. In fact it's been shown that husbands make for the very least 20% more than their wives on average.

[Opinion Owner]

"They are also attracted by tall men because that also means protection."
You made the claim that these traits listed by women only applied to girls 14 yr and i just made a point with height that you are wrong. And yes women like tall guys because they feel they can protect them.

They also seem to care a lot more about face than body of a male when it comes to physical attraction. And i don't really care about exceptions or the classic argument women use to derail any serious discussion by saying

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/asIywy9rLr4/hqdefault.jpg

Yes Not all women are like that. However, this seems to be general trend for most women.

[Heera]

This is what I tried to explain to you. Psychology is PRACTICAL after you understand it. And it helps you a lot IN REAL LIFE. I didn't just read some books thinking I understand something. Psychology is not phylosophy, it actually makes sense being practical. I would't tell you those things just by theory.
Also, yes, media has a huge impact over our perception of good looking people. Media is always trying to create unrealistic goals and expectations for us. This has also to do with psychology because being exposed to so many people alike (perfect models with little variety) gets you used to it, and when you become used to certain things you begin to find them even more attractive.
Unfortunately media is not going to stop "whitening" black people, removing stretch marks or promoting buff men, but mature women and men usually realize how media tries to manipulate us, that's why I said mostly 14yo are attracted to those waxed unreal shitty male models

[Opinion Owner]

@Heera And you would be wrong if you think it only applies to 14 yr old girls or most girls grow out of it. I can go on several 20+ yr old girls FB profiles right now and within their pics they have some profile pic of some male model they adore with little selfie hearts.

[Heera]

Well I'm sorry to hear that honestly. I guess I'm lucky I don't know people like this.
Anyways that kind of women don't deserve attention anyway so they're not an actual loss.

[Alphadude1982]

@Heera aww is someone triggered? Take responsibility cunt

[JRICHARDS1996]

Men

Women may be more materialistic, but there is a difference between that and being shallow. Shallow implies that you care about status or that your inherent sense of worth is connected with trivial material things. This tendency is much more common in men who care about status and what others think about them.

Women on the other hand are materialistic simply because they enjoy material things and may be a bit simpleminded. Their reasons are not necessarily shallow though like men.

[BubbleBoy69]

"Women may be more materialistic"

"Shallow implies that you care about status or that your inherent sense of worth is connected with trivial MATERIAL THINGS"

Explain. And women do care a great deal about status.

[JRICHARDS1996]

@BubbleBoy69 I think women are more gullible and easily manipulated by media. That said, they are materialistic simply because they like (or rather the media has convinced them to like) the things that they purchase. It has nothing to do with inherent value or worth, the reasons which would make it shallow.

[Heera]

Women tend to be more materialistic and/or looking for ambitious men because subconiously they're looking for men who can take care of them and their family, the same way men re subconciously looking for beautiful women because they consider them to be healthier future mothers

[the_rake]

Men by and large do not care about status. It's looks.

Women care about status and money predominantly and yes, status orientation is equally as shallow if not more so than a guy that just cares about looks.

[Heera]

@the_rake No, it doesn't have to be a high status, but rather self confidence (this shows subconciously that you're a strong man who can protect his family).
Why do you think most women go for the bad guys? Because nowadays jerks are showing confidence while nice guys tend to be so discouraged by the others so they become self conscious. An assertive guy will attract more women than a shy guy almost any time.
And I don't know what to say about looks being less shallow than this, you have to invest money in your looks anyway if you weren't so lucky to be born with attractive features.

[the_rake]

@Heera

'No, it doesn't have to be a high status, but rather self confidence '

Status, dominance and confidence are strongly related concepts. Wealth ties into status also, because a person with a good profession and wealth = strong socioeconomic status. That's why the LMS triad is a simplification, but guys tend to use it anyway because there isn't any current theory that better explains the irrationalities of female attraction.

'I don't know what to say about looks being less shallow than this, '

It's equally shallow but more insidious. See my takes:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a25912-when-focussing-on-the-internal-attributes-of-a-man-is-not-a-good-thing
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a26307-so-what-if-guys-only-care-about-looks

[Tdieseler]

I wouldn't use the word shallow per say... but women are definitely more materialistic. Like crows... you gotta shine to catch their eye.
Guys do care about physical appearance a lot but are willing to bypass that if there's a solid enjoyable personality.
With women, personality only goes so far, it has to come with everything else under the sun, most of which are contradictory opposites of each other.
plus, how many guys have you heard that have turned down girls before because of appearance... compare that to the amount of times girls have turned guys down before they could even utter a word. the ratio is ridiculous.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@the_rake see, look at all the men who constantly bash women.

I'd say both. You have guys who don't care about the rest of the woman as long as she's hot, and there are women who don't care about the rest of the man as long as he has money. That's shallowness.

I feel that people throw the word "shallow" too easily. Wanting to be with someone attractive IS NOT shallow. ONLY wanting them because they are attractive IS shallow.

[BuchitaBuchys]

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2020479-would-you-dump-your-girlfriend-boyfriend-if-they-became-overweight

Look at the responses. And yet men are still adamant to claim women are shallow -_-

[the_rake]

@BuchitaBuchys

You need to look at the statistics a little more closely, because they are not that bad.

On the second poll, the majority of men still voted that they would not dump their girlfriend if she was fat.

On this poll there was a relatively narrow difference between the 52% that thought women were shallow and the 48% of men that thought women were NOT more shallow (adding the other two percentages together). Women also had a relatively narrow divide and it was definitely not a clear majority who thought both genders were equally shallow (56%).

As for looks being shallow: I've made two takes about this before (warning: shameless plug alert!) and basically, women are equally as shallow as men, just it is about the intrinsic factors - like dominance, paternalism, adherence to traditional dating etiquette, etc. - rather than the extrinsic things like looks.

...

[the_rake]

[PT2]

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a25912-when-focussing-on-the-internal-attributes-of-a-man-is-not-a-good-thing

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a26307-so-what-if-guys-only-care-about-looks

[the_rake]

[PT3]

By the way, here are some examples of male bashing:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a27969-don-t-be-a-loser-guys-get-out-there-move

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2015651-why-do-guys-stare

And I couldn't find many questions / polls that ask something directly harmful about men (I could find plenty of stuff that was indirectly harmful though, e. g.
- one girl was talking about how compliments make her feel uncomfortable.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2011448-how-do-you-handle-compliments-do-they-ever-make-you-feel

- one girl was talking about guys that agreed to do scat just to hook up with her (insinuating that most guys would be this desperate to get sex)
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2012759-why-do-you-think-that-multiple-random-guys-off-of-okcupid-agreed-to

- one girl asked why guys always pull her into the pull (like it was most / all guys that would do that)
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2012358-why-do-you-pull-me-into-the-pool

[the_rake]

[FINAL]
Because most of that stuff above could just be aimed at the individuals who engaged in this level of negative behaviour and was at best 'indirect' criticism, like I said, I made a poll of my own, here it is, let's see how it does:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2022132-are-most-guys-just-sexist-perverts

[BuchitaBuchys]

@the_rake exactly they're about EQUALLY shallow. But notice how majority are saying women are more shallow

[the_rake]

Yes, I know, but if you read some of the other links mentioned, you will see that the girls are bashing guys as well just in different ways. For example, in that last question I posted where I pretended to be an offended man, 50% of women conceded that "guys are sexist pigs". That is not so different from this poll which said that 50% of men said women were more shallow. The gender bashing is evenly split - besides we can't tell from two or three very selectively chosen polls which gender bashes who more. We need a much, much larger sample range than that if we are going to be at all objective.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@the_rake and that's what I'm going to do.
Plus, your question looked trolly, many people answer ridiculously when it's trolly.
There have been questions here that said that Mexicans are all ugly and whatever and I voted yes just for the lolz despite being Mexican myself.

You're question was not presented as serious so I doubt people voted seriously

[the_rake]

'Plus, your question looked trolly, many people answer ridiculously'

Ahah it was a bit trolly. But if anything, that would influence in the opposite direction because women would be more likely to suspect 'something was going on' and therefore want to vote 'no' just to undermine my efforts at proving something.

By the way, I do not think it is a 'shame' 50% women voted like that (well it's 45% now but the polls are still fluctuating). I think gender bashing is natural on a site like this. People are frustrated with their experiences of the other sex (guys that can't get action, and girls that get unsolicited attention, mainly) so they need a way to vent.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@the_rake too trolly. As I said, I've "agreed" to the stupidest things on polls here just and even answered in agreement just to mess around with the anons.

And we'll see. I'm not saying women don't do it, they do. But I've seen much more anti female vs anti male.

[the_rake]

'As I said, I've "agreed" to the stupidest things on polls here just and even answered in agreement just to mess around with the anons'

Yes, but that's just you.

Some people might think, "no, this person is obviously trolling and wants people to say negative things about men... why would I just to prove their point?"

And besides, men might have just been trolling on this question or the one about "would you dump your partner if they got fat?"

It's all speculative.

'I've seen much more anti female vs anti male.'

Again, speculative. Men might be ever so marginally more anti-female but the difference really and truly is negligible.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@the_rake not just me. Many other users as well.

[the_rake]

you didn't read very far... :|

[BuchitaBuchys]

@the_rake I did.

[the_rake]

I didn't say nobody else would do the same thing as you, I was pointing out that different people would have different motivations to vote in the same way as you. Sure some people would think, "this is a troll, let's vote yes" but some people might be even smarter and think "actually this is someone trying to prove women are shallow / a bitter woman trying to prove that men are all sexist pigs: let's vote no".

[BuchitaBuchys]

@the_rake exactly. Results are eh. Questionable because some troll back, some answer how they really feel, others try to "one up" them.

[the_rake]

right. so same could be true for the polls you linked me to.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@the_rake eh. Yes but not as likely. Your question was more obviously trolly

[the_rake]

yeah, but the trolls don't necessarily care if the question is trolly or not

[Heera]

No, psychologically speaking, men are more shallow then women when it comes to physical looks by nature (trying to find good looking females to reproduce with as beautiful women are considered subconciously healthier) . But because of media, both genders became even more shallow having unrealistic expectations.

[crimsonqueen]

What you call shallow some people might call discriminating. I wish I knew where these buzzwords came from. They're just ways of guilting people. Everyone wants to be attractive and find someone they find attractive. That isn't shallow because you can be attractive, intelligent, and thoughtful... it's about the whole package.

[Prof_Don]

Seriously... it's women by FAR!

Some men may talk a big game about how they want XYZ in a girl, but in reality almost every man will take any decent looking girl that likes him back!

#100 #RealTalk

[BuchitaBuchys]

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2020479-would-you-dump-your-girlfriend-boyfriend-if-they-became-overweight

[FakeName123]

@BuchitaBuchys

Make the same poll for "would you dump your boyfriend, if they are unemployed". Pretty sure the result is the same.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@FakeName123 exactly. It's about equal the shallowness

[FakeName123]

@BuchitaBuchys

Then we areon the same boat.

[datgirl]

I don't really know. I've met shallow men and women, but definitely a lot more shallow men. Don't you know by asking questions like this the men on here will jump to attack women in every way, shape and form? They're in denial and don't want to accept anything.

[thatkaruguy]

women by a country mile. when you actually put into perspective even some of the things they find attractive it becomes apparent.

[JuniorcertHELP]

I don't understand why everyone is making everything about their all-important pride. You can't generalize women as shallow just like you can't generalize men as shallow. We are all individuals, and in the end we are all different people.

[shadowlegend]

Why even ask questions like this? There are enough arguments about gender on here without instigating questions.

[Asker]

Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you were the question police. I'm new here, so give me a break!

[Harbor]

Women. Us men tend to know this because we date women. Women don't know shit about women like us guys do.

[Asker]

Lol yes men know sooo much about women... that's BS.

[Harbor]

It isn't bullshit. You do not date women to know what you're like.
We date women, and we see what women are like a lot of the time.

[skaikrasha]

Men are more shallow when it comes to looks.
Women are more shallow when it comes to money, status, job, etc.

Generally of course.
It does depend from person to person.

[DodgersGM]

Men when it comes to looks, women when it comes to to resources.

*yes, these are generalizations and do not apply to all.

[Mesonfielde]

Physical attraction is a necessity in any sexual relation

[BiscuitesSwag]

Why ask a question like this when it's obvious that everyone will vote the opposite sex?

[Alphadude1982]

Because the percentage of men that were six feet tall, six figures, six pack and six inch co** is EXTREMELY SMALL. Women refuse to date down and only accept a certain man. MEN JUST WANT WOMEN TO NOT GET FAT THAT'S ALL!!!

[clampfan101]

It seems like men are, but it's probably about equal.

[sp33d]

Uhhh.. generalizations, aren't these fun. The women, obviously.

[00Lelouchxx]

Woman expect more

Guys only care about your looks but they are open about it.

[BubbleBoy69]

guys care about personality too. No guys is going to stick around with a woman who is boring or is a total bitch.

[00Lelouchxx]

@BubbleBoy69 yeah true but I honestly could date a bitchy girl. it fits with my personality. But I get what your saying.

[Anonymous]

Well if online dating research is true then women by a mile.

[bobbyxx]

There are other things to back this up.

[Anonymous]

Women are, the poll once again proves that women won't admit the bad traits that are more prevalent in their gender. Women are more shallow fact of life.