Should I let this person go?

[Anonymous]

I confronted a friend of over 5 years for constantly body shaming me and I mildly suggested that if they feel to need to body shame me every time they meet me they should really talk to a therapist or someone professional. Me making this suggestion triggered them and they started saying mean things about how I was insecure and wanted to feel superior instead of apologising and it escalated to a whole fight about how I never cared enough to ask them about how they were doing and they removed me unfollowed me everywhere. It feels a bit painful but based on this, try to patch things up or just let it go?

Let it go, you are better off

Patch it up! 5 years is a lot

[Leapfrog00]

Friends like that you don't need. Though, it's understandable that you would have a hard time letting go after 5 years. Here's my advice. Confront this friend. Tell this person that it is making you feel insecure and destroying your self-esteem. If the tell you that they will stop but still proceed, then this person is not a good friend for you.

I had a friend that used to call me ugly, and one night we hooked up, and from then on, every time she said something like that, I had that one night to hold over her head. It's a dirty trick but it got my point across.

It's obviously tearing you up inside. You don't have to let people talk to you like that. It doesn't matter how tall you are, what color your skin is, how much you weigh, or what shape your body is, all that matters is what kind of person you are inside.

[Asker]

thanks for this. although i think it is beyond repair because she told one of our mutuals that she will always hate me because her ex boyfriend who dumped her had a crush on me while they were together!

[glennos89]

Friends should lift you up not bring you down!!! Talk about it give that person 1 chance to change that behaviour and never allow it to happen again! If that person does it again, kick that person out of your life asap when he/she disrespects you again.

Whether its a friend, your partner or your family doesn't mather... Kick people who bring you down out of your life because they feed of your negative energy while bodyshaming you in order to make rhemse feel more secure. Dont allow it

[Asker]

that’s so true thanks

[glennos89]

Your welcome ❤️

[Anonymous]

Funny how when you set a boundary and the conversation is about you and your feelings they dismissed you and made it all about themselves. You are dealing with a classic narcist hook line and sinker. Any kind of interaction with individuals like this long term will do nothing but cause you unhappiness in so many ways, no friendship is worth sacrificing your mental health.

[juene]

First of all, body shaming is a bad thing to do to your friend. And you are not wrong to defend yourself or call them out. Maybe the way you express it is a bit rough but since they started it they should apologize first and instead they said mean stuff to you.

[Asker]

yes they did not apologise and said mean things and started calling me insecure and saying i just wanted to feel superior and then blocked me 😂 I had to be rough because I told them yesterday not to body shame me and they started suggesting ways “i can fix it” instead of acknowledging that what they said was wrong

[juene]

Don't pressure yourself to lose weight. Do it for yourself not for other people. Ofcourse there are ways and I am sure you know that. But body shaming is not a good thing to convince someone to work on themselves. It's just sad that you lost them because of this but you should not invalidate your feelings.

[Asker]

thank you for this, it was not about weight but it was about height, which I can’t change no matter what. i am typically shorter than usual because of my genes. and this person thought it was okay to make fun of my height always. This person said they didn’t realise that heigh shaming is still body shaming even though i kept telling them!

[juene]

I see. Well, I'm taller than my friends and I love them with all my heart. You should find better friends, sis.

[Asker]

yes i have blocked her so she can’t ever come back into my life. she told me i’m toxic because i didn’t tell her sooner and i don’t need anyone like that. making space for new friends now! 💗

[juene]

Good luck, sis!!! 💕

[Asker]

thank you 💗

[stepyo99]

You sound unbearable. Your skin is so thin that you can't handle mild teasing about your height and try to turn it into some weird victimization narrative. I would say to let it go, not for your sake, but for theirs because you sound like a toxic friend.

[Asker]

lmao shut up, I bared it for 5 years. I eventually got sick of it because it was said in a very condescending way. How am I toxic? If something makes me
uncomfortable I will stand up for myself.

[Asker]

FYI it wasn’t “mild teasing” some of these comments were genuinely disgusting, so please stop with your fucking assumptions.

[georgia_fall15]

Bae, you can do so much better. She obviously doesn't know what she's talking about. She definitely wasn't your friend in the first place if she always treated you like that. You just need to tell her that y'all aren't friends anymore and if she starts to beg you to stay and still be your friend, tell her to cry you a river, build you a bridge, and get over it.

[Asker]

exactly what I did! thank you! 💗

[Flower7]

The present matters more than the past. Don’t hold on so strongly to those 5 years. Just focus on how the person is acting currently and use that to make your decision.

[Asker]

I love this insight, thank you! 💗 The more I think about the things they said the more O feel happy to be away from them. I tried to confront them about body shaming and it ended with them blocking me because apparently “I never cared about them and only asked how they were doing for the sake of asking” seems like they were just trying to get rid of their guilt isn’t it!

[JesseP1nk]

I have a better idea. How bout you start to work on yourself. And be who you wanna be, look how you wanna look. So next time they see you and you look better than them- thats the biggest "fu (k you" to them.

[Asker]

that’s the thing I have worked on myself, I go to gym and and am quite fit and all that but I can’t change my height can I? That person constantly brought me down because I wasn’t the tallest person in the room and it was not even in a joking way but to a point that she actually wanted to hurt me!

[JesseP1nk]

Fuck that. Dont hang out with them. Why you wanna hang out with people who wanna hurt you? And whats with the "tallest in the room" talk - tell them "bitch, you think i wanna join NBA?"

[Asker]

yep I blocked them!

[BoopBoopBeep]

Why do you even want to be around this person?

[Asker]

I don’t anymore, i just realise in fact they have been bullying me with all those comments and degrading me. It’s taking some time to realise but I think I am seeing the bigger picture now and not letting the few good memories hold me back!

[DextroShade]

If they are "body shaming" you for being fat then they are trying to help you; if they are fat and shaming you for not being fat then dump the toxic trash.

[Asker]

it was not fat-shaming but height-shaming, to a point that she told me I should always wear heels or get height increasing surgery otherwise she was going to use me as her “arm rest”

[DextroShade]

Height shaming is even worse, because you have no control over it. It's okay to be a short woman because it comes with none of the disadvantages short men face.

[Asker]

exactly, it’s fine to be a short woman and I was happy with my height until she started making fun of it. She even admitted it one day like “I like making fun of your height” and then I showed her articles on how bruh shaming is body shaming and is in fact not the best thing to do and she felt guilty and overwhelmed and told me she cannot talk to me anymore because it’s a serious issue (which I don’t understand because she’s the one who’s been doing it)

[Asker]

height* shaming

[Anonymous]

they were probably just trying to be funny and you lack a sense of humor about yourself.

[Asker]

nothing funny about making fun of someone’s height every time you see them and asking them to wear heels and get height increasing surgery.

[Anonymous]

No one needs friends like that.

[Asker]

exactly, it’s giving narcissist isn’t it!

[Opinion Owner]

Yes it is.

[Asker]

I feel so free to be away from her; like I am levelling up in life