he's into fitness - he goes gym regularly
Whereas im the opposite.. I hardly go gym nowadays
So today we were talking on the phone and this was some of our conversation:
Him: "babe im taking you to the gym with me.. probably starting next week"
Me: "what.. why?"
Him: "because I want you to come with me.. and plus there's girls in the gym. If they come up to me, then you'll be there and I will just come to you. This happened to me before"
Me: "What am i going to do if im there if a girl comes up to you?"
Him: "See if you're there, no girls would come up to me. I would be with you. Everyone would know your my girlfriend. Or ill just kiss you infront of everyone"
Me: "hmm yeah ok"
Him: "You have to come with me next week. At least once a week please"
Me: "why do you want me to go so badly?"
Him: "because I want you to be more active. And I want to share with you my hobby. I want you to become part of it as well. Gym is my hobby. I just need you. I just want to spend more time with you. And plus its for yourself as well. You would feel so much better about yourself. Like, have seen yourself in the mirror? What do you see? What do you like to improve? I know you think you're body is not perfect. Do you want to improve your ass, your front, shape your arms?"
Me: "Idk maybe all of it"
Him: "Then come gym. After coming few times, you would look in the mirror and think that youve gone hot"
What does all of this mean? I was going to ask if he doesn't like my body but then I would cry if he said he doesn't.
Did his responses mean he doesn't like my body? And he doesn't find me attractive?
Then why would he want me to go gym with him when he knows mostly everyone at the gym? And if he doesn't like my body, why is he with me still?
And when he tells me about the girls in the gym and the spending more time together are they all excuses for me to go gym?
Im so friken annoyed and upset 😔
Most Helpful Opinions
From this question alone, it's hard to say if he actually sees a problem with your body.
It looks to me that your body wouldn't be the primary reason for him wanting you with him at the gym anyhow. When I look at your conversation, I'm seeing a guy who just wants to have more in common with his girl. I get the sense that you two don't have a whole lot of common ground at this point in time, but he wants to create some because he's into you and he wants to make it work.
I mean I'll be perfectly honest, my heart just about broke reading what he said. It's obvious that for whatever reason, he feels that you two are somewhat detached from each other and it's getting to him. I've been in a number of relationships with girls I really were into that stopped feeling like relationships after a certain point. Let me tell you right now that doesn't feel good, and the way he's talking here brings back a lot from my own experiences.
As I think about this more, it would also explain why he brought up your body and the other girls at the gym. I'm willing to bet he's a little scared to be forward about his feelings. The reason why is obvious, frankly. If your behavior in this conversation is anything to go by, I can understand him being worried about the possibility of you reacting coldly to him letting it out to you. In that case, it makes perfect sense in my mind as to why he would try to find alternative incentive to get you to join him. Could he have found a better way get across what needs to be gotten across? Sure. But it's blatantly clear to me that there's something deeper with him that needs to be addressed before anything relating to your body is put on the table. I know that sounds harsh but, if I'm right, this isn't something that you can just let sit and fester until it pops.
Let me know if that triggered some light-bulb moments for you. Also be sure to correct me if I was wrong on anything. I want to help you guys as best I can after reading this.
what do u mean "theres something deeper in him that needs to be addressed..."? what do u think that is? and how is he scared to come forward about his feelings? when he brought up about my body and the other girls in the gym? do u think it may mean he's scared to say that im fat and he doesn't like my body? and the other girls is just a motivation for me to go gym?
I am positive that your body is like 5% of the problem at the ABSOLUTE most. I'm trying to get you to switch gears here. Put everything about your body on the back-burner because it's keeping you from seeing the bigger picture.
Yes he's trying to motivate you to go to the gym, but it has VERY LITTLE (if not, NOTHING) to do with your body, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that HE NEEDS HIS GIRLFRIEND.
So I strongly encourage that you put your insecurity aside and show him that you love him! He doesn't give a fuck about your body, he wants to spend more time with his girl who's too busy jumping to conclusions about stupid shit to realize that he misses her in his life!