How’d you feel if your SO forbids you to post a picture of them online or even talk about your relationship to others until you’re engaged?

[Pinay_ako]

Shady af

What would you say or do about it?

[Jdjfjcjj]

Forbids? Yes I'm not your father, and I don't want to have to train you on how to be a good girlfriend.

You always can decide what you want you want to do, but there are consequences and I have no difficulty walking away from chicks

[Jdjfjcjj]

My comment is a general response,.
In your case, you clearly the side chick

[AngryCarl2]

I'd find it a bit odd. I'd probably want an explanation.

[SteveSmith1985]

That would be unacceptable to me. We would no longer have a relationship if I was supposed to keep it a secret. What exactly are they embarrassed about? No way I would ever accept this. So I guess I would feel "single." And like that relationship was clearly one that I needed to end... like I just did.

To me, this is very black-and-white. Unless you're at risk of some crazy uncle trying to honor-kill, you or something like that... then there's no excuse or justification for this.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. I don't allow any partner, at any stage of a relationship, to order or command what I can or cannot do. That person is not LTR material.

2. My immediate assumption in your scenario is that the boyfriend is married or living with a girl.

[Pinay_ako]

She broke up with him and a year later she found out he was two timing women who didn’t know each other existed

[OlderAndWiser]

Exactly my suspicion!

[Aerissa_Jade]

I'd say it sounds very controlling, while I understand respect for not sharing pictures of someone... not talking about them is over the top to me.

It would literally make others think I am either in a mysterious relationship that I'm lying about as I can't talk much about them or that I'm totally faking it.

I don't do controlling relationships anymore where he tries to control me.

[Fuentes]

Sorry, but How do u find it controlling to respect others boundaries? Lol

[Aerissa_Jade]

@Fuentes When someone tells you what you can and can't do that is controlling. They can ask but not demand.

[Jdjfjcjj]

@Fuentes boundaries does it mean you forcr someone to remain within the bounds.

You missed the important part though of why he doesn't want her posting pics of him or telling anyone he dating her..

95% chance, OP the side piece
5% chance, he desperate for relationship but thinks others will not find her attractive

[Fuentes]

@Jdjfjcjj nah cause u can leave or ill dump a chick for not respecting boundaries. That's your take i don't trust the internet therefore our business doesn't need to be public.

@Aerissa_Jade for this reason what I said if she could not respect that and thinks she is being hidden and controlled she would just be dumped and left lol but I'm upfront about stuff you would know it from the gate.

[Jdjfjcjj]

@Fuentes dude, OP used the word forbids. That's exerting control over another. Which you have no right to do and frankly if you have to talk like this to a girl, you already fucked up. If she respefts the hell out of you, all you got to say is, I don't want this, and she won't do it

[Jdjfjcjj]

And let's be honest, 90% of men say, "here's my boundary, if you dont respect it, I'll leave". And then of course less than 10% actually do, with the rest just proving how they willing to be walked all over now

[Fuentes]

@Jdjfjcjj I'm the 10% that actually will

[Valkyria]

Maybe they're keeping it a secret because they don't want their parents knowing or something like that, but if so, ask them for the reason. If they give a half-assed reason or none at all then they are probably cheating and don't want to be caught.

Though I know a few people who have no social media at all. Posting their face on social media sort of defeats that point so I can understand that. Maybe they're self-conscious of their appearance.

If you can't talk about it to anyone, though, then that's the most suspicious.

[AliSulayman]

In middle east it’s normal. While in the west it can be different. Some people like to keep their personal lives to themselves. You can talk about it with him and know his reasons then ask yourself, what’s more important? You being with him or posting your photos?

[Pinay_ako]

He doesn’t want her to even mention she’s in a relationship with him. Idc about pictures really …

[AliSulayman]

Is he explaining the reason? Where are they from?

[Pinay_ako]

Usa 🇺🇸

[AliSulayman]

That’s weird. Maybe he’s famous or he’s married or into “special business”

[MisterKuulius]

Most decent guys who are really interested in the woman would WANT you to post a photo of both of you together, instead of photos by yourself. Because it indicates that you are NOT available anymore for OTHER men's attention. Barring some extremely unusual but appropriate reason, it sounds to me like he is not that interested in taking it that far.

[Boomchakalaca]

“Dont let ur girlfriend stop u from meeting ur future wife”
😅 well, seems suspicious of u ask me. Some thoughts i might come up with r: “is he embarrassed to be seen with me” “he dosent want anyone to know he’s in a relationship atm” saying u dont like to be posted on social media is diff then FORBIDDING them 🤷🏻‍♀️

[ilovelamp]

How’d you feel if your SO forbids you to post a picture of them online

I would feel totally fine with that and RESPECT Her decision for privacy.

even talk about your relationship to others until you’re engaged?
Is a different matter not sure how i would feel about that would depend on the reason.

[ChiTown33]

I guess I'd be ok with it if she gave me legitimate reason to. I'd never post a Pic of someone I was close to if i knew it was against thier wishes. And I can choose to not talk about her if that's what she wants. But that'd be disappointing as when I love someone I like to brag about them. Also, how am I supposed to respond if someone sees me out with her? Am I supposed to lie about who she is? I'd think that would be worse. 😂

[Fuentes]

I don't like the internet it isn't safe so theirs no reason we need to post our relationship or she needs to put me on social media. The whole world doesn't need to know our business.

[Pinay_ako]

But this girl also said she doesn’t want people to know they’re together Irl too. So yea what would you do if your girl tells you this? Keep our relationship a secret pretty much

[Fuentes]

To keep it a secret beyond privacy reasons? Dumped

[Simslover92]

I don't care so much about the picture thing but the not talking to anyone about him until we were engaged is a bit much. I would have to really think about us being together.

[MrOracle]

I don't have any personal social media, so nothing would really be different for me. But given that so many women live their whole lives on social media, I would want to know her reasons.

[qqqqq0000]

I like posting whatever i like, so that kind of “relationship” wouldn't work for me, and i wouldn't want it to anyway. lots of other guys who wouldn't care about being posted, or better so, who likes it.

[Agape93]

You don't forbid me from doing a damn thing. You ask me to, and I'll honor it. The moment you think you can forbid me from talking, we are done and I'll do it on principle

[BoopBoopBeep]

I don't do pictures online because of the nature of my work. If a woman can't respect that she's gone.

[Adam1978]

Unacceptable that sounds like a scammers who wants to trap you first before the world get a smell of her.

[LazerBean]

I wouldn't have a boyfriend that was ashamed of our relationship.

[EmmaMary]

Controlling Attitude... Huge Red Flag... Goodbye, Sayonara...

[ObscuredBeyond]

That's called stashing, and it's a form of abuse. I don't tolerate that.

[sirderpsalot123]

I wouldn't care about the pictures, but I wouldn't be with someone who I have to hide from family and close friends.

[Fuentes]

Why do they all need to know online Lol

[sirderpsalot123]

Exactly lol so if that was the reason I get that. It's mostly people I went to school with, old co-workers, and people I only met a few times... they don't need to know everything