Have you ever been ghosted after a first date that you thought went well? (Page 2)
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The reasons could be many and it's immature. It's important not to let this mess with your self confidence though. get back in there
Oh, this happened 2 years ago and I got back up, got on the horse, and went for another ride!
Good because some people are just assholes
A.
Not that I've never been on a date in my life but I tend to get ghosted before there's been a date, which sucks, but I guess it's better than getting ghosted after getting your hopes all up with an actual date.
That's just dating. Sometimes one person thinks it was great and the other not so much. When I was dating online I had a few women wanting another but I wasn't interested and didn't call. Yeah, the woman should have just said sorry, no thanks but...
I'm a straight forward person. If I'm not into someone I'll cut it short. And I'll ghost them if they keep bugging me. That's just rife though. No one forced her to text you what she did
Exactly! It would be easier to understand if she didn't act like she was into it, scheduled our next date before we parted, then texted me afterwards to say that she had such a nice time.
It's crappy on her part. You don't want to be with someone who plays games like that right?
Yeah, after about a week, I told myself that her acting that way immediately probably saved me the trouble of dating her, maybe falling for her, and eventually discovering that she was a self-centered person.
I once had been ghosted right before a date. I travelled to her city, and when I arrived at the location where we wanted to meet up, I saw her running away from me.
That blows!
No, I don't think so... I always wound up talking to her the next day at school (HS), but we never rally texted so I can't say we ghosted since texting wasn't something we did.
I tend to think a lot of ladies that guys meet online tend to have a lurking ex that they still aren't completely over. My bet would be that she rebounded off of you.
Being rebounded sucks. Next time I hear a girl is newly single/divorced, I'm either hitting it and quitting it or abandoning ship. Fuck that.
Yes a few times way back before internet even, never responded or answered the phone, now I don't even get to even a first , they just stop communicating with me and leave me to try and figure out what happened. My guess is that women just don't care to even tell you they aren't interested anymore and leave it at that while you just guess what happened.
Nope never had that. Did you ever hit her up to see what ever happened? I'd be damn curious lol.
I tried calling and texting for a week and then I gave up.
1) you weren't her type
2) she had another guy she was seeing as well as you at that time
3) she isn't committed but just wants to date casually
i don't mean to sound like i know what everyone does but i've ghosted? just like the girl you described because i can't be direct in many situations mainly because i don't want to hurt the person's feelings or make the mood awkward but later just can't make myself continue correspondance because i don't want to pretend. basically i don't want to lead them on but don't want to say it.
But you are protecting your own feelings and neglecting the feelings of someone who is probably an innocent party. If they acted like a jerk on the first date, I understand you don't want to talk. But if there just isn't any chemistry, I think the respectful thing to do is to tell them instead of just disappearing.
there are some things that bother me and i just can't bring myself to say it because i don't want to hurt their feelings. i have had my feelings hurt before and i treat people the way i want to be treated.
i should i've also been ghosted before and it didn't bother me much
i should mention*
Being ghosted is 10x worse your only thinking about your own feelings when you do that. You rip it of like a band aid sure it might hurt a little but he'll get over it a lot quicker. If you ghost then you'll always be left wondering why. Most guys don't have tons of options like girls there's no 1 next in line, so it's harder for us to just brush it off
@That1tallguy not everyone feels that way. some people myself included do not like a direct slap on the face, ok?
people need to realize that not everyone is the same, even within a culture there are all kinds of personalities. i don't give a fuck if certain people think it's cold of me not to smile at strangers, i don't feel comfortable doing it and i don't need to force myself to do things i don't want to do. just because you know people who feel that way you do or see it on tv doesn't mean it's the right way.
@COCOCHANEL, no one can force u to be sensitive to other people's feelings. The reason why u would feel hurt is that as a woman u are not very familiar with rejection. I can assure you every guy becomes acquainted with rejection from his early teenage days and it becomes part and parcel of being a man.(every man gets rejected eventhose that a good with women). Tho rejection hurts a guys will appreciate it more if were up front with how you feel and not left with the question of 'why? '
@COCOCHANEL, Your reluctance of being up front and choosing to ghost guys is a reflection of ur fear of confrontation rather than his feelings (i could be wrong but you know urself better). Like That1tallguy said a lot of guys dont have girls lining up to get their number, so its usually hard to brush it off. But I personally, grew up from and stopped giving a fuck about 1 girl (when there are billions of girls). If you have interest and open to learn just ask any guy if they would prefer to be ghosted or have the girl be upfront. The answer might blow ur mind.
@BlackMaleYou you obviously didn't read what i wrote. to reitterate, i am extremely sensitive to the feelings of others and my own. i have been rejected and ghosted multiple times. i have experienced it both directly and indirectly and i PREFER it to be indirect. yes that's right. i would rather be ghosted than hurt in a direct way. i do not care how righteous you feel, i have experienced what i have experienced and feel that way i do.
@BlackMaleYou and by the way i only tend to be attracted to guys who happen to have girls coming up to them in droves so yes they are picky.
@COCOCHANEL, Just listen to guys. Guys prefere the truth. Just ask you male friends if they would prefer being ghosted. And if you can't bring urself to be direct then do as you feel.
@BlackMaleYou @COCOCHANEL I just posted a poll asking if people would prefer to be told the truth or simply be ghosted.
@BlackMaleYou ok but i'm not a guy? so why do i have to feel the same way?
I'm not a girl and I don't feel the same way that girls feel so I don't need to respect girls' feelings? Is that what you are suggesting?
when did i say i don't respect guys' feelings? to reitterate, i treat others the way i wish to be treated.
Most guys feel disrespected if they are ghosted. Why not simply tell them instead of disappearing in a fog of mystery? If you don't tell them, you are not respecting their feelings.
again, we see things differently. please respect my opinion. thank you.
i also believe that you are only thinking from a western perspective (although not all westerners think that way) and i do not date nor have plans to date a western guy.
I do respect your opinion, but I am trying to understand and perhaps our cultural differences are the problem. Are you saying that if you had a first date with a guy, you thought it went very well but the guy didn't think so, you would rather be ghosted than told the truth?
yes that is correct and it's generally the norm here in japan and yes i am bicultural and raised in the states but i've always been very sensitive and disliked directness. i just plain don't feel good when people say mean stuff about me to my face. some japanese are naturally straightforward and do that but not usually when dating (from my experience) especially if you met on the internet.
@OlderAndWiser, Thats what she has been saying all the while. I am not a westerner either. She prefers being ghosted good for her. She can not say she is sensitive about other peoples feeling (guys feelings as she said before, she doesn't want to hurt guys feelings) and yet guys would tell her girls not being direct hurts their feelings, but then she will still do it cos... 'I dont wanna hurt their feelings'. The people she doesn't want to hurt their feelings are saying the thing u do to spare us is hurting our feelings but she says she has another opinion. Its fuckin disrespectful. Being upfront and direct causes discomfort (cowardice)
@OlderAndWiser, yep it could also be a thing of culture, cos some cultures are naturally not confrontational.
Whatever her reasoning is that's very rude and cowardly, I'm sorry that happened
-->Met woman online
--> Spends days chatting her up
--->Drove to her place which was an 1hr away (money wasted)]
--> I texted her when I got home to tell her that I was home safe and that I really enjoyed meeting her. (already showing her that you are her bitch)
THIS IS WHAT BEING A GENTLEMEN GETS YOU.
So many rookie mistakes. Guess age doesn't give experience.
Also just lol if u payed for her meal. Women who are online dating have men coming left and right asking to take her out. It was just your turn buddy. Now, she is off to use another guy for a free meal.
i.dailymail.co.uk/.../...100000578-280_634x467.jpg
That is a possibility but certainly not an established fact. . Being a gentleman means that I am susceptible to be used by a manipulative woman; I knew that long before you were born. If the most important hing in life was to make sure that I never got used by anyone with improper motives, I would reside in a cave and live a celibate life. The search for love requires exposure to abuse and heartache; if you have decided that the search is not worthwhile, you can join that growing men's group MFTOCEM (Men Fixin' Their Own Coffee Every Morning.) I will continue to take my chances looking for love.
You can search for love without being an idiot. Being a gentlemen does not get you far in dating world these days buddy boy. I know older users like yourself thinks your age makes you better than others (as you've sort of tried to display in your response) but the reality is dating has change and if you don't adapt you will find yourself getting this treatment over and over.
It has happened once in 43 years. Women my age have not changed and people my age expect some unselfishness in dating relationships. Do what works for you and I will continue to do what has worked for me.
I have been ghosted by a girl after the first date. Then I met someone hotter with a better personality a week later. The rest is history. Now I'm ghosting the girl who ghosted me. I'm going to tell her leave me the fuck alone soon. Karma is a bitch.
Women do those kinds of things all the time. You moslt likely didn't make a cut. sad thing.
A lot of things could have happened, but in the end it's sad that it turned out that way for you. Some people simply lack the maturity to be honest and do this stiuff.
You can bet she was married 👍. The kiss made her feel guilty.
I have been ghosted after a first quick meeting that I thought didn't go all that well though.
This is why I like to split the bill on the first date :)
It prevents me from being used by the downvoters as a volunteer to cover their costs for their meal.
Was she hot? You know women are milfs/gilfs nowadays. They enjoy fucking. You may have messed by simply kissing her good night.
She is a very attractive lady for her age but I don't think she wanted to do the horizontal mambo that night. I could be wrong but that was my perception.
Once I have them on a date I've never lost a case by "going strait for it".